Feelings..that you never understood!!

I was there for you every time I felt I was needed..

Anything you’d ask me to do..I undoubtedly would..

coz beneath everything I did, there laid the feelings..

that you never understood..! 😦

 

I heard your whispers, I smiled your smiles..

I felt your feelings, I cried your tears…

I happily took your ignorance in so many situations

And yet tried my best to take away all your fears..

 

You meant the entire world to me..

Your feelings started driving my mood..

There wasn’t a moment I didn’t think about you..

And beneath all that laid feelings, that you never understood.. 

I don’t know how and when you crept into my life..

I don’t know why you looked so familiar to me..

All I know is that whatever, wherever I am today,

Is all I could ever be..!

 

One look at your face and I would forget to blink..!!

All I knew was, to be true you were just too good..

In every conversation we had, my heart would sink!

and beyond all my madness n support lay the feelings,

that you never ever understood..!! 

And now you are there all around..

in every hour of my day..

in every thought of my mind..

in every feeling that I feel..

in every beat of my soul..

and deep down, I wish you felt the same..!!

 

I still hope that one day you’l wake up and miss me.. 🙂

P.S – Yes I am BACK..after almost around 3 months..yeah that’s a long long time..!! Guess I had been off..just lost somewhere and somehow so aptly back to where I should have been all this while..a heartfelt thanks to a friend who prompted me to write this post..thanks! for you brought me back to MY WORLD..where I fit the best..! 🙂 🙂

I have Changed..!!

Sitting by the window pane..watching the raindrops fall..

Several thoughts flash in my mind..

And they make me think that I have changed..! 

I used to love my friends a lot..

They meant the entire world to me..

But soon I found out their true feelings..

And heard them speak ill about me

So I gradually stopped caring for them..

And the conversation melted down to just some formal talks..

And then they all say that I have changed..

If that’s what you call a change..

Then, YES I HAVE CHANGED..! 

I used to poke my nose in every trifle matter..

Used to give loads of unwanted suggestions and advise..

(because I really thought them to be my own)

Nobody took me seriously..and nobody seemed to care..

And now, I don’t utter an unwanted word..

They say I am not interactive and I don’t speak my thoughts out..

And then they all say that I have changed..

If that’s what you call a change..

Then, YES I HAVE CHANGED..! 

I used to think about others before thinking about myself..

Used to care about people a lot..

But, sadly, I could never get that concern in return..

Infact often got to know facts from others, which I expected to be informed first..

So I became silent..never spoke out my plans well..

And then they all say that I have changed..

If that’s what you call a change..

Then, YES I HAVE CHANGED..!

 In the beginning I think I was trying to be clever..

Because I was trying to change the entire world to suit my own needs..

But now I am learning to be wise..

So I am trying to change myself..

I am trying to have faith in the thought that says..

“Its easier to protect your feet with slippers..

Than to carpet the entire Earth..”

And so..

When they say I an garrulous and infuriating,

I keep mum..

When they say I don’t vent out my opinions..

I can’t and I actually don’t want to..

But still I try to..!

When they find a fault in me..

I try hard not to give them another such chance..

I think I have stopped living my life my way..

And I am trying to live it their way (silly me)

I now say things, which I otherwise wouldn’t say..

I now do things, which I otherwise wouldn’t do..

I now speak to such people, which I otherwise wouldn’t talk to..

I am now in company of such people, which I otherwise would never think of..

 And even after all this..

What I get to hear is that I have changed..

If that’s what you call a change..

Then YES, I ADMIT  I HAVE CHANGED..

 

The Secret Crush (Part I)

She had loved him her entire life,

Right from the day, she learned what Love meant..

One smile on his face made her heart fly,

Being by his side always, was all she dreamt.. 

Both grew up as the time passed by,

Helping each other in all the life’s dealings..

They both remained the best of friends,

She could, however, never tell him her true feelings..

 

She tried to tell him many times,

But professing love wasn’t that easy a task..

She always kept dreaming of it in her mind..

To marry him, if he would ever ask..

But one day, a bad news broke in,

In her heart, she felt a terrible pain..

A friend informed her of the tragedy that had taken place..!

She would never see his smile again..

She now cries, sitting by his grave,

With teary eyes and a heart that is broken..

Only if she had confessed her feelings..

She blamed herself for the love unspoken! 

Sitting and wondering about destiny’s plans..

On his grave she silently puts some flowers,

Imagining what life would have been if he was still here,

And now thinks of him, and cries for hours and hours..!

(To be continued in the second part!)

A New Sun..

Another duet with a beautiful soul..Shruti Fatehpuria from A Shade of Pen..An amazing writer who wows me with every single piece of her write..This is my attempt to recreate the magic with her..yet again 

Counting the stars in the night..

I still feel the warmth of sunshine..

With my mind wrapped in a million thoughts..

I wonder if every end is truly a start..!

I try making patterns with the stars in the sky..

And in each one i imagine YOU..

Am I the only one who has been hurt..

Does this end really initiates a new start..?

The stars tell a tale..

Of love, of hurt, of pain, of smiles..

Every emotion clings to my heart..

Why do i need to let go of the past?

The past..that was pleasant..

soothing with its own sweet charm..!

The past that sometimes makes me break down..

and sometimes elates me with ecstasy..

The shine of the stars reflect a light so bright..

That I am lost in thoughts yet again..

even though i make myself ready for a new start!!

Moments come and go..

Each leave a mark of its own..

I am baffled at the impact..

Can this little heart sustain a fresh start??

What if things go awry..

What if i am again trapped..

Will the heart ever heal..

Or will it never again believe in new starts..?

Loads of questions get stuck down deep..

But somehow I still hold on hope..

I have faith that things will be different this time..

Its difficult to erase those memories..

But gradually it will fade..

The faith is strong in my heart..

Yes, I am ready..

Ready for a new start! 🙂

With a faith unwavering, I wipe all tears..

regardless of tomorrow, I walk ahead..

Wherever I will land, I will learn to smile..

Nothing lasts forever and its been a while..

With renewed energy, strong is my heart..

And forward I roll to begin the start.. 🙂

Happy and joyful..I put my steps ahead..

Colors begin to fill my world..

Which had long been lifeless and dead..

I move with all the energy and confidence..

Rising a level more with every single move..

Keep on playing the music of life..

Because I am back and ready to groove 🙂 🙂